5 am, on the bus headed east to New York. I’ve begun to feel like I’ve felt before, that the footage I’m getting, of real serious hard rock, the needles and the damage done… will never be seen because of corporate, personal, even legal agendas, which will soon act to censor/prohibit.
But here we have, in Al, a seemingly fearless preacher in the pulpit (he hates that moniker).
I’m supposed to be all finished capturing “press kit” material after tomorrow night’s show at the Roseland theatre, NY, NY. But Jeffrey and I have been discussing just how we might propose to Al and Paul, that we stay on longer… in fact, as long as it takes, to shoot a feature length documentary film.
I’ll stay on the Sphinctour, until I believe there is a feature film in the can. Or… until the body bag with my name on it is occupied.
Paul Barker heard us talking about this, and said: “Fuck yeah. Doug, you can room with me, when Jeffrey’s gone, and when he gets back he can room with Al.” To which Jeffrey said: “Then I’m not leaving, or not coming back… I haven’t decided. But I’m not Al’s roommate.”
Within minutes of getting their hotel room keys, the entire team Ministry have disappeared. This time I presume not just into their beds, but out into the burbling, screeching, wheezing metropolis.
I’m fairly certain that I can do this… a couple months… a dozen or so countries… and stay clean. I’ve been to these places before, shooting bands back in the day, from Moscow to Tokyo, well respected and paid, but that’s followed by petty thievery, an arrest for possession, and luckily, a halfway house in Portland, OR, just a few short months back.
But if you would ask me today, why I think I can. What’s different now than all those other times I caved after 30 or 40 days? What new power/insite/defence do I have over my former mistress, Heroin. I really couldn’t say. And that’s fucking scary.
Sphinctour dialogue of the day: Reynolds the drummer and my film partner, Jeffrey.
Reynolds: …There’s no movie here. Just a lot of heavy breathing.
Jeffrey: This could be the time of your life.
Reynolds: How fucking depressing.
Jeffrey: Beautiful women, kick ass music, travel the world…
Reynolds: Disease, lobotomy, more disease.
Jeffrey: Where would you rather be Rey?
Reynolds: Hah! Yeah, you’re right… What’s the expression… No matter where you suck, there you suck.